I put you… in a tiny box, … after that last fight. I made you petty and inconsequential, and nothing special, so that you fit into this tiny… little box. That would help me get out of bed in the morning, but now, now you have come out of the box popping up everywhere…
And I was fine with that for a while….
but now, now you need to get very tiny again… And go back in the box.
Because unfortunately I still….
I love you, in a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you.
Seeing you around…
It is not difficult… it is simple. You are not here. You are gone and you’re better for it. You are winning the awards and being celebrated in all your social circles. That is not difficult. You are out there and I’m here where everything is the same. I still live in this apartment, I walk the same halls of this school, I see the same people. It is not difficult… This is where I chose to be. But, when your life was falling apart, I held you together, I kept your secrets, I nursed your pride… I loved you. I know it and you know it. You know it and yet nowhere in your life story does my name appear. I am the unseen hand that put you back together. And yet while everything is the same it is very, very different. Now I’m lucky if I can even connect with someone. Life treats me like… I was yours and now I’m a ghost. That is not difficult… it’s unbearable. Everybody is proud of you… but I’m not… I do not wish you well.
And the thing is… all the calls and the text messages…
…you pulled the plug. I’m a sink with an open drain. Anything you say, runs right out. There is no enough.
There are no words you can say to make it better. There is nothing you can do to make me not hate you.
When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. You chose him. I’m all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke.
So keep your comments and thoughts about me to yourself and leave me alone.
Have had a shit-tastic day but this still made me laugh
Text from Last Night:
No no. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Still laughing. Btw to all those that know what’s going on she’s fine. A few bumps and bruises a hairline fracture here and there and a concussion BUT will overall be okay. She is home now and heavily medicated and I’m on my way back to cville soon